Monday, June 2, 2008

"thanks, you're a peach"






















what?!

why have i heard that like 25 times in the past week?

i realize i may have just helped your son or daughter or grandson or step neighbor or boyfriend's cousin to graduate, which may just save him from years of ridicule and snide grandma comments... but that gives you no right to call me a peach!

how is that even an endearment?
lets rate peach on the endearment scale:

sweetheart— referencing the organ to which we attribute love and sweet... which is sweet... used mostly in romantic situations.... or might easily be induced by a loving hand from a stranger... usually used by classy middle-aged women. "you are such a sweetheart... thank you so much... what is your shoe size?"

honey— a sweet gooey substance that makes all recipes better and is usually the healthier option... and catches more flies... usually only used in marriages... and apparently in old lady to young female service representative-type relationships as well.... oh- and basically any woman in the south...

"the best"— "hey thanks, you are just "the best". really? am i? ok. then why am i still single and living in provo and getting paid not enough to help people that stress me out like you?

baby—not my favorite. but i guess a kind thought: "you are the one i like to coddle and play with, but you poo in your pants... and make me take care of it..." maybe not the choice- at least not from a stranger...

doll— by itself, it reminds me of the creepy doll my mom still keeps on the top shelf of her closet... one eye missing and wearing a pinkish corduroy shirt so she looks like the new model of the "one night stand skank". if used in a phrase such as "you are a doll and a sweetheart" (which usually comes in a chain smoker NY accent) than just hang up. they don't mean what you think they do...

peach— in the rare occasion that you might be "ripe", you could also be sweet... on the inside...but otherwise you are all fuzzy on the outside. oh and we can only eat you after we have successfully matted down that fur to look like a wet dog.

eww. a simple thank you would do.

hope graduation for you and your godson was a hoot.




4 comments:

  1. Saw this online - thought you might get a kick out of it!: If it is someone in the service industry (waitress etc) it's for tips. When someone calls me Honey... I call them Mustard. Or peanut butter. When someone calls me sweety, I say "More like salty. With a hint of saffron". And love, well...that is my least favorite. Someone calls me love, I say "If I'm your love how come there is no ring on my finger?" or "If you love me, why did you forget our anniversary". Make them as uncomfortable as unwarranted terms of endearment make people like me.
    But some people are just trying to be nice I guess. Sir and Mam and Miss or Mister might offend someone too. Make them feel old. I'll just stick to my method of response.
    You're welcome? One guy said that people call each other silly names like that because they forgot to listen to what their name actually is. Go fig.

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  2. PS-thanks for the "foto" shoot Megs!!! Your a peach! Not in the hairy kind of way though. ;) I decided that my right side is the best. As much as I try to think that I'm good from every angle...I'm not! haha-I loved feeling like a princess for a day...even though its not entirely like me being in front of a camera. Thanks for you and Nika.

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  3. I graduated in '02! I was in dance...maybe that's where I heard your name. Possibly even in seminary!?

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  4. Loretta and RichieJune 4, 2008 at 6:39 AM

    We do need to get together soon! Do you still live in Provo? (Just kidding). Love ya, Lo

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