MEN, comma, where you at?

i was once told that if you have something that needs to be said to just "blog it out".
here goes:

quick sidenote: i have a serious lack of tact, as you, i'm sure, have gathered. and yes, it was my new year's resolution to find it, so i maybe shouldn't be saying this, except that my rule is that if i could say it to your face, i can tell other people... and that includes the cyberland where a lurking neanderthal might care to read what i am about anyway...
so if there is one who would care enough to read this, maybe it would be enlightening for him to know...

that it's not all about you!

I am going to tell you what kind of guys i love. just love love love meeting...
the ones that:

• give me their resume in the first 5 minutes i meet them
• don't stop talking long enough to remember that there is another human in the room
  
• have zero hidden talents: "hey- check out this really cool thing that i did..." [looking at something really not so cool]
  
• go: "how was your day... ok, now back to what i was saying about me... i'm awesome right? did you hear that? didn't you want to compliment me...? sorry, i'm fishing..."
  
• think my career choice is lame and try to cover their opinion with a very unconvincing smile and "oh, that is so neat..." i just can't get enough of those-types.
  
• ask me to be "facebook friends" not minutes after learning my name.... tacky. why can't we be just like real-life-human-2-human-contact friends first?
• oh–try to make contact/ask me out/say something they should in person using some online form of communication...
  
• remind me how much older and wiser than me they are, and give me spiritual and emotional advice as if they are my mentor and i pay them....so cute.
  

why have i met like 5 men like this in the past month? ok- so you have some obscurely great job. like maybe you work for the "government" or you "consult" or something. i call these "magical jobs" because it is usually something that most likely fell in your lap, that happens to be "right up your alley" and for this secret skill of yours this random company pays you far too much money... which is another point you love to remind the ladies of at any chance... ok- not all of you do this... but still.

what happened to my radical crew of guys that i went to high school with? the ones that never needed to give me a reason to like them other than show a girl how to have a good time? my mesa boys that were so chill? where are my brothers from p-town and the stoop–the ones that would just show up to play and relax. no need to entertain each other. we could just be.

big shout out to my crew of old friends- now mostly married, but nevertheless,
i miss you:

e-rob • casserole boy (mattenater) • dev • kurt • dan in real life • jeremy • mitchell flynn • tyler • seanathan • corbin • chadley • beaner • bradley • jordan • lucas • chase • danny • daniel • steven james • kevin • jared• dave m • chad • paul (both of them) • chris • logan • cramer • cody • even kendall • even brock...

oh. in case you ever want to feel better about your life in a quick instant, just make a quick list of a handful of men that made you smile even though they didn't date you...

suddenly, living in the single world isn't so bad again.