Friday, November 30, 2007

Do I look like the sort of girl that would allow a man to take liberties?!

I just got jipped...

No--I got punked..

I got kiosked.... twice!

Allow me to illustrate for you:

Shopping. Mall. Those all-too happy faces between stores who are slaves to the product they must force upon you. What is it this time? A modest under-tee that you can only find here.... ? A motorola phone that takes pictures and walks your dog. I almost got suckered into some lady's rendish of the whole homeopathic whatever bag thing that lays on your back and the spices heal you.... yep... I must look like that type.

Then, while walking through the mall I run into a lady who tries to get me on nail products. Please, do I let my nails grow past the ends of my fingers? No. So why do I care about them? Oh wait- I don't. Alone, I decide to humor her, letting her use my name at the beginning and end of every sentence (to show how close we are and how much she cares). She sat there and buffed my nail for a good five minutes and I just took it. After telling me not to scream at the sight of my new nail, she magically moved her hand to reveal a brand new, shiny, and admittedly beautiful looking nail. Damn. What does it cost? No, I don't need the whole package and the cute bag... just that one thing that you used on me to make my nails look like butta....

Five minutes down the center of the mall and I am already aching inside. Sure, she gave me a deal... because I wasn't going to do it. She threw in the lotion and I only really paid for the stupid buffer-or-whatever thing....The pain only seared deeper when I go home and laugh it up with my roommates who inform me that the $30 waste of space I carry with me could have been purchased for under $5 at a beauty supple store.... again.... damn.

This evening, I am productive. I am writing papers for Monday! I taught today, went to the bank, had a class and a rehearsal, got a swig... productive, right?

6:55 there is a knock at the door. Don't interrupt me, I am on a roll. "Hey guys, can I get your names?" I hate the sound of that phrase. 7:10. "Guys, I am not fooling you here. There is not a catch, Meg. Why do you look confused? This card will save you so much money on car stuff you wouldn't even believe. You get all of the money back after you use it....blah blah blah...." $60 is a lot to spend, even if it does mean free inspections and oil changes and tire rotations and yadda yadda recharging system analysis... whatever. He knew who he was working with when we opened the door. "Do you have a boyfriend?" I lie. "So he doesn't live nearby?" No. "Even better! Because blah blah verbal vomit....." After a desperate glance to my roommate we decide that there is nothing else to ask this man that he hasn't already thought up. He is like one of those missionaries.... nothing left to question. Damn.

7:27. Gone. I was so resistant and unfeeling that I got him to half the price. He showed us the other checks he had collected... we really were the only ones. He was sweating. That's right you were! At least my car is covered for the next year. (Until I show up and they make up crap that has to be fixed...) "Now Meg, we looked over your car, Meg, and it looks like..." Whatev. We decided it was worth the $30 to get him to leave. I can't believe I got kiosked in my own house! Weak sauce.

1 comment:

  1. you know what's funny? at our house, i'm the one who better answer the door if a sales person is knocking. i can say no. bill, on the other hand, being a sales person himself, buys everything. the other day i came home and he said, "um, you need to write a check for $575.00. while you were gone i had a guy treat our roof with linseed oil." excuse me? but the deed was already done! have a nice {just say "no"} day!