Tuesday, January 13, 2009

one man's pivot is another man's wingwo

a friend of mine always says:
things that don't change, stay the same
i like that.

and i like that it means that
every time i get back home
i can count on spending some QT
with some dear manfriends of mine
that always have stuff going on:
new girls (or not), new jobs (or not),
usually new music or places to eat...
new songs they can play
to impress me (and always do...)

i have one crazy friend (we'll call him paul) that needed a *wingwo (only he calls them a "pivot") to go with him to church. unbeknown to me, we had a practice-run of my newly appointed role earlier in the week when we went out to lunch...

paul and i sat down to eat at pei wei where the tables are almost uncomfortably close to strangers. after checking out the girl adjacent to me, he announced that she is really hot... oh good. time to perk up, i thought.

he made a few more comments about how he wanted so badly to talk to her but didn't know what to say...etc. and i got an idea. i went to open my fortune cookie and squeezed the bag till it popped. of course, it made the girl and her mother jump/squeal and then paul started in... he was a champ. flirted up a storm and made the girl laugh. flattered the mom...

i thought, sweet, i totally started that! it was like starting a clap-a-long with a cheesy country song at a concert... "hey, see that? i started that... i did! (looking around for validation...)

then i made my mistake. she asked me, "is this your man?" (in my head, i was thinking, tell her no! no, he is free and willing to date you... in fact he's interested!) so i answered, "me? no. not at all... in fact, on our first date i was sure to tell him that!" oh no! i suck as a wingwo! objective #1 is to build him up... make him look awesome so she totally wants what i got! dag.

after the conversation got back to paul and i, he reprimanded me... and i knew i had failed... he picked it up of course by flirtatiously asking the the girl, "are you trying to find out if i'm single?" she loved it. totally blushed. he gave me a 6 out of 10. right, i know. like a D. good thing Ds still get degrees...

so on my next outing, i was determined to do better. i went to church with paul, straightened his tie, sat and chatted and laughed (not fabricated laughing of course...) and then i was supposed to be right by him when he wanted said girl to see him with what he called "eye candy" (i think the term alone convinced me of the unpaid position). yeah- missed that opportunity cause i was a bit distracted. then i was supposed to announce myself as a visitor in RS and say, "i'm 'just visiting' paul" i was suddenly too embarrassed to stand at all! if i coulda gotten that far i mighta said what i was supposed to!! again, he told me i failed. you're right, i know... exactly the reason i don't sky dive...

on the other hand, when out on a lunch date with my other paul friend, we ended up at Shar's (yes, that would be a cooking supply store where Shar teaches free cooking classes and feeds you. can you say awesome?). paul is into canning these days (naturally..) and so we went to check out the place, but the class was on pressure cookers. (so of course we stayed!) they made the newbies introduce themselves so he raised his hand and said our names. shar smiled and said, "oh, a husband and wife team?" "no," he said, "but someday!" all the ladies and the one other male in the room looked back and smiled like we were seriouslysoblessed...

we sat like we always would, an arm around and whispering how much we loved this and how cute shar is... the whole time...

his bishop's wife texted him a day or two later and said, "hope you enjoyed the pressure cooking class... and are you engaged?!" ha!

i would say that was a successful wingwo moment....

*wingwo: a chick a guy will bring with him to a social outing
to make him seem cooler to other chicks.
generally she is just friends with the guy and knows
she is mainly there to help him get some attention....

oh- and side note: there is a new poll on the right to check out
(for those who have reader).
as well as a peek into my little homemade etsy shop on the left.
soon to feature some askthebooth aprons...

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