Wednesday, November 19, 2008


i got this from my mom last night... and it was exactly what i needed, slash it also feeds into a hint of marital fear... oh well.


Dear Tech support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower
and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable
programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?




First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband
1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to
download Tears 6.2
and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works
as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications
Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to
default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download
the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother- In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the
background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources)

Also do not attempt to
reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are
unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory
and cannot learn new
applications quickly. You might consider buying
additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking
3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support


  1. That was good! Made me laugh! Even though my Husband 1.0 is a little bit better than the one described... it's still funny!

  2. Too funny! I think it's an description exaggerating on truth. And my Husband 1.0 is of a higher quality than the one described too. :)

  3. First off---great pictures in your last post. I covet your skills.
    Second---loved this post. Hilarious. But I still wouldn't mind getting one of those Husband 1.0s:)

  4. Meg dear, you rock the kazbaa. Just FYI. Also, your pictures freaking rock. I don't know what else to say other than I'm mad at you for hiding this amazing talent from me for all these years. Also, that was funny... but I would recommend to that person deleting the old out-of-date Husband 1.0 and installing the new version, Husband 12.9: Sterling Edition. It works great- ask my wife. =) How the heck are you?

  5. Oh thank you for this!! And I love your new blog template. It is so great.

  6. I just wanted the blogging world to know that when I installed Husband 1.0 it was before computers so you had to just dream of the upgrades (Paul Newman 2.5 and Robert Redford 6.2). I got lucky though. I've never wanted or needed a new operating system unless I just had a heart to heart chat with 1.0 Tech support has come in may ways though, like Mother 6.3 saying "Don't you ever talk bad about Parker." and Bishop 4.0 saying "You will never do better than the one you are married to. Find ways to serve" So while it seems that I subscribe to this blog, I really just thought it was very funny and it kind of doesn't apply at all, well maybe installing Jewelry 2.0, Flowers3.5 or Fix the Garbage Disposal before the Dinner Party 2.5. Now those are great ideas.....wonder if they can install and upgrade on a 57 year old model?

  7. children 2.5 is also an interesting add-on feature.

  8. So true in many ways. Thank goodness for upgrades. As far as the marital fear(we have one of those at our house) sometimes, actually always, it's a leap of faith!

  9. Funny. Although I do feel like I upgraded from boyfriend 10.0 to husband TIGER..... Don't roll your eyes! Loved the post and we miss you....